Reflective Parenting with Young Children and Teenagers – recording

Slides

About the webinar

We are in the midst of an, ever escalating, mental health crisis for young people. Mental health problems for children and young people have increased over the past few years to nearly 1 in 4. Services, both statutory and voluntary, are unable to meet the scale of the demand of these issues and parents and carers are ideally positioned to support their emotional and behavioural needs; to support their mental health. But it’s a hard job, and parents need someone to metaphorically ‘hold their hand’ through this crisis. The Reflective Parenting approach offers parents some guidance on how to mentalize themselves to help them reflect on their own state of mind and also helps them arrive at the solutions they need for themselves and their child or teenager.

Mentalizing refers to the ability to read other people and attribute thoughts and feelings to them. It is also the ability to understand that it’s impossible to read someone else’s mind because it is separate and distinct from your own. Often parents think they know their child/teenager best and tell them what they’re thinking, which feels intrusive and overwhelming to most teenagers, who want to have their own private and independent thoughts and lives.

The reason mentalizing is so important in family life is because, as Peter Fonagy once said, ‘there is no context more likely to induce a loss of mentalizing than family interactions. It is within the family that relationships tend to be at their most fraught, their most loving and their most intense emotionally; in other words, the family is an environment with the potential to stimulate a loss of mentalizing in one or more members of the family, on a daily basis’. Restoring mentalizing in family relationships leads to members feeling more closely connected and understood.

Reflective parents are able to think and speak with reference to states of mind and this helps their children and teenagers to feel understood and more closely connected.

Key learning objectives

1. To understand how Reflective Parenting links to mentalizing and reflective functioning, which are the basis for a secure attachment in childhood.
2. To gain an understanding of the tools of Reflective Parenting and how these can be directly applied to everyday interactions between parents and their children.
3. To learn about the importance of emotion regulation to improved behavioural outcomes.
4. To understand the relationship between mentalizing and close connection among family members

About the Speakers

Dr. Sheila Redfern is a Consultant Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychologist. She completed her clinical psychology training in 1994 at University College London. Following this training, Dr Redfern specialized in working with children, adolescents and their families in NHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) – working with babies and their parents, children and also running an adolescent out-patient self-harm service for 10 years. She is currently a Head of Clinical Services for Family Trauma at Anna Freud, a children and families mental health charity in London, UK. Dr Redfern also worked as a senior lecturer as part of Guy’s Medical School from 1996-2005. She is the Director of Redfern Psychology Services, an independent clinical psychology practice, where she offers direct clinical work, training and supervision and where she is devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities.

Dr. Redfern’s clinical psychology practice spans thirty years, and she has published extensively in peer reviewed journals on parenting, fostering and child and adolescent mental health for the professional audience. Dr Redfern has authored two books for parents; Reflective Parenting: A Guide To Understanding What’s Going on in your Child’s Mind (Routledge) and How do You Hug A Cactus? Reflective Parenting with Teenagers in Mind (Routledge). She is currently writing a revised edition of Reflective Parenting to cover the Covid-19 pandemic and social media and their impact on children’s mental health. Dr Redfern trains professionals across the world, from Denmark to the United States and supports professionals and carers to run groups.

Take a look at Sheila’s latest book How Do You Hug a Cactus? Reflective Parenting with Teenagers in Mind